I...iono

The first time I saw you, you were with your guys and I was just the new girl who knew nobody and you seemed to know everybody. Among your friends, you were not the finest or the hottest dresser or anything but there was something about you that attracted me ion noe what it was...but at the time I was a dead you wouldn't have looked at me 'cos really there were hotter girls and all...so I put you at the back of ma mind with the notion of if I don't think of you I would forget about you, to me it was as simple as that as I couldn't get you I could forget you(if only it were that easy). After a while I found out we had mutual friends OMG I thought whenever he came around I just used to act cool n all cos if there's one thing m good at its confusing people...So I act as if there's nothing and no one suspects anything it worked for a while I guess then we jammed at somewhere sha sha he kissed me but I did not respond not cause I didn't like the fact that he was kissing me but I had a boyfriend and I didn't really want to investigate how the kiss affected me and why it affected me that way :| at the end I had to pretend like nothing happened coz I didn't wanna jump into conclusions and all after all it was just a kiss and he acted like nothing happened n as I'm not one to jump into conclusions I took his lead and acted like nothing... Then I just put it at the back of my mind and forgot about it then we met again in the club we ignited the dance floor..yup yup we did we connected on another level...then I used to wish we'd always meet whenever I go clubbing(bet you didn't noe that) and those times when we were dancing I used to wish you were mine :$...well parties passed and things regressed to hey hi friends I moved on (or so I thought) then I got a bb and we got talking again and I realized I was really not over...still I didn't believe how would he like me, like really me pint sized me I was just well there weird chick and crazy rock lover so I put it outta ma mind twas easy to do so cause I hadn't seen him in a long while then I saw him and I'm like OMG how could I have thought I was over him like really...well I was still circling around the situation then he told me he would do me a favour I wondered what it was...I finally put it behind my mind then one day we saw and chilled for like a really long while talked about things and all and well we made out...I enjoyed it X_x like who wouldn't. Then later I started having regrets, like really I aint going out with this guy and all why should I be doing such. I felt like a bum, I wasn't myself, I had doubts did he really like me or were my lips just the attraction, I wanted to know but I didn't know how to say it...so I told him the little I could but I wish I could have told him everything like how I wondered what a relationship with him would entail what he would expect me to do and if I could do it and if I would feel ok or guilty about it well ion even understand my self but I do know one thing I would enter a relationship with him if he ensures me that my doubt are unfounded even though I promised myself that I'd b single for a long while....what I regret tho was hurting him cause I hurt myself as well. My only hope is that I've not lost him and what hurts the most is that he may not read this and know exactly how I feel....O gosh!!! I guess I got hit......
Don't ask I won't tell you... :|
I can't believe I wrote this...