Saturday, February 5, 2011

Will I get it one day :(

Just some things I thought about...
So I'm sitting thinking and talking with all ma alter egos(sshh just read) and I'm thinking about life and what I really want from it atm(at the moment). For a while we were thinking we want love yes Cecilia one of ma lamest personality was screaming love...n I;m like love might be only me but in this age and stage of mine love is like the lowest on the food chain wanna know why.
   It is said good things aint cheap and cheap things aint good, then Cecilia said to me, "but love is not just cheap, its free." And I'm like, "Umm, who said its good??? :s" Really because, okay you fall in love,you break his heart or he breaks yours whichever the case maybe...Then I'm like what do I really want...amma tell you.
   I want someone who would hug me tight and tell me i smell good, I want someone I can call or talk to when something goes wrong,or I wanna rejoice. I want someone who makes me smile, when its not even on my agenda I want someone who will listen to all my rantings even when I'm obviously talking too much, I want someone i can be myself with and not worry I have veggies in ma teeth or ma dress aint cute enough. I want you to have my time even if its just to say hey, I want you to call text or ping me with something funny on a random odd day not just cos I said hi.       
   I want you to care about me not because we dating or something,just because,and not think just cos she doesn't talk she doesn't mind, I want you lock eyes with me and smile and I feel like you can see straight through to my soul, you don't have to say a word. I want someone who is open minded who thinks highly of people I want someone who is not all about what I can give you or whatever like MoCheddah says,"you don't need to buy a car to show me your love" even that love!!! Love is a very shady emotion that I can do without for now. I just want you to adore me, to think the world about me, to call just to check up on me, to not remind me of my shortcomings but encourage me to be better.
   I want you to play with me gist with me, on rare occasions even gossip LOL..:) I want you to surprise me with chocolates not because its vals day or ma birthday but just because you know I love 'em I want someone who would do anything for me(within reason tho no grenade catching n ish o!!!) I want someone that will look at me and tell me I'm cute not because he thinks thats what I wanna hear, but because he means it:| Someone I could give my heart to and trust that he won't return it bloodied and on a broken platter...but the reality of all this is that if wishes were horses beggars would ride.
     We never get what we want and we reject what we need and as for all of this a perfect somebody...who doesn't even exist. If he did I wonder where he's hiding. Sometimes I think we get the debris to prepare us to meet the whole stuff, sometimes it looks like its taking forever and in our haste we end up with the wrong person..I ask for patience not to kill every person who has broken someones heart...If in your case that wicked somebody is me I'm Sorry from the depth of my heart I didn't mean it I'm not perfect and neither are you. You may not believe it but all I speak is he truth and I speak it for my self...Do you ever feel the same way??? 
     Now I really do need a hug :( 



  1. My compliments for your blog and pictures included,I invite you in my photoblog "photosphera".


    Greetings from Italy


  2. Thanks sweetheart...make sense ba???