Oprah: The 'O' Religion

Okay I just heard our beloved Oprah Winfrey has opened a church which she named 'O' The Oprah religion I'm really open minded about a lot of things but umm this is just over the top...I get it if you don't wanna go to church but really this is just...mind boggling.

     Well her church the 'O' was opened in April last year the 6th to be precise. Our multi-tasking Oprah serves as the Pontiff (like the pope) and also the deity(like God) I shiver as I even type this its actually kind of freaky(does this mean the world is really coming to an end???). She appointed long time friend Gayle King as the Archbishop of this church and spoke person. Her goal apparently is to give confident smart women the tools they need to express their individual styles and tools to make choices that will lead to a happier and confirmed afterlife :o(the hell...and umm guys it seems like y'all have been excluded from this salvation :|) 

    Then Gayle says,"In addition we have eliminated the regressive prohibitions- such as those against premarital sex(hmmm no comment) that older and outmoded religions still cling to...they don't fit into the lifestyle of our congregation(if this was a business they'd be making mad money. She continues,'O' The Oprah religion has all the comforts of the traditional belief system but combined with the uplifting spirit of Oprah(omo Oprah done turn spirit sha) so that everyone from a religious background would still feel right at home(if they were anything remotely religious they wouldn't be attending your church)when they convert to the new tradition of O,The Oprah religion(when??? which means there are people stupid enough to believe this).

        In this new religion there'll be confession which will happen once in a persons lifetime...Since Oprah serves as both the pontiff and God in human form(:O Oprah...oh because u have money u r now God okay o!!!) well she would officiate it she also adds that penance is unnecessary and forgiveness guaranteed...The O religion empowers all women wth tools for their own salvation(umm what aout guys don't they deserve salvation too :s)
The Height... At one of the one of the services, 'Archbishop King (what's it with all this kings???) raises her hands in the air and Oprah appears in the clouds(hmm money is talking) all decked in white robes with black knee high stilleto boots...
All the followers were shouting an some were so awed they wet themselves(on top human being like you... I really dont get Americans).
 Then Oprah says," Blessed are those who come before me,"(umm sweety who you???)
Blessed... She continues with her blessed quotes and as a parting slot before she left in her ivory chariot she says,"Blessed is my church,enter ye now ad view my services on the giant flat screen sony TV...look within your gift bags you all have a certificate for a free tv(now I see why they attend the church...free gifts)then right before her 'chariot' leaves she says,'Peace be with you, and praise be to me'
Smh...May God in his infnite mercies guide and protect your mouth...Is this wat money does to people??? 
Well sorry Oprah​I only believe there are two religions christianity ad Islam....any other one is in your pocket...#thatisall 
For more info or to watch the video
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA 
http://westerngh.com/2010/04/oprah-winfrey-opens-church-founds-religion/